Cooking with Drew
I don’t know why I always feel compelled to explain my absence since my last post, especially since this absence is the most justifiable of the bunch. On September 17, Drew was born. Some things since her arrival have been much easier than expected (adapting to different levels of sleep) and some things have been harder (baths - hers and mine). Thankfully, since I’ve been on leave, the best thing I’ve discovered is that I can still cook. Sometimes.
Sometimes, the difficult times, it’s the last thing I want to do. In those times, we get burritos, Thai curries, falafel wraps, and Ethiopian platters from the restaurants on our street and eat them while we take turns holding Drew, often while watching TV on our couch.
Sometimes, the lucky times, Evan holds her while I escape to the kitchen and lose myself in the familiar rhythms of cooking, times that feel unchanged since her arrival, albeit punctuated by her occasional cries and sounds from the living room.
Sometimes, the rare times, she lets me set her down for a nap in the living room while I cook. These times are stressful, the threat of wake-up and crying always looming. In between every small task, I peek around the corner. Is she breathing? I put a hand on her chest to see if it rises and falls, leaving a little flour maybe on her clothing, and then go back to the kitchen.
Sometimes, the more frequent times, I put her in the carrier and cook with her. This is not without risk. I’ve splashed water on her, and am constantly having to slow down and cover her when getting things from the oven or when boiling water. Things move slowly. There is a silver lining though: I can pretend I’m on a cooking show, narrating what I’m doing out loud, without the shame of being caught talking to myself.
Those are the hows.
As to what I’ve been cooking? I know I made roasted rutabaga laksa once, more iterations of pasta and vegetables than I can count, steel cut oats cooked in the pressure cooker with fall apples, copious amounts of heirloom beans, granola, vegetable soup with dumplings, gigante bean dip with walnuts and red bean dip with pomegranate molasses. I remember these things vaguely, yet have no proof that they happened. Unsurprisingly, I have hundreds of photos of my child and only a handful of what I cooked since her birth. Here’s what I managed to immortalize though, most of them baked goods (because I have a sweet tooth lately):
Cinnamon and pecan buns, for Evan’s 31st birthday.
Pumpkin streusel cake, for no occasion whatsoever.
Pumpkin rolls (documented by my friend Emily, who is a much better photographer than I am) on Thanksgiving. It took me several days, but I made these rolls, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and homemade artichoke dip for a friendsgiving at Skipper’s and Joe’s house.
Oaty pecan & peanut cookies with homemade cranberry jam, some with sprinkles (made just last week while listening to Christmas music with Drew)
and pizza - with homemade crust, rainbow chard, caramelized onions, everything bagel seasoning, and a drizzle of cashew sauce.
In the short term - I’m looking forward to the holidays and being able to celebrate with my family in Michigan. And further out, I’m looking forward to being able to cook more freely, write more freely, not always have a baby in my arms or strapped to my person. I’m looking forward to being able to cook for Drew! But for now - I’m thankful for my beautiful baby, my partner, and still being able to squeeze in my favorite hobby into days that look a little different than before.
